Marriage is hard work. There are many challenges that couples face and these challenges can bring with them much discord and disharmony. From household chores, to time management, to children and the in laws, many of the most common reasons why marriages fail is because of the work involved in keeping your love alive.
If you want to find happiness, joy, love and peace, It’s time to Just Give up!
Give up your need to be right all the time!
Give up your selfishness!
Give up your need to control!
Give up talking and start listening!
Give up the games!
Give up the friends who create interference!
Give up the laziness!
Give up your unwillingness to forgive!
Give up the boring routine!
Give up being so stubborn!
Give up your unrealistic expectations!
Give up your annoying habits!
Give up your desire to be judgmental!
Give up your arrogance!
Give up anything that prevents mutual love and respect!
My life is amazingly happy with a remarkable woman as my wife! As we have learned in our relationship to give up the negative barriers that get in the way we have continually drawn closer to one another. Our life is more fulfilled and complete than either of us have ever experienced prior to our marriage. We find strength in our differences while confronting the negative pressures that I believe occur in every relationship. Our focus stays on the other one and not on our self as we solve difficulties that arise.
We have learned that for marriage to be successful, you first have to be willing to give up!
My wife and I love spending time outdoors, especially hiking. The opportunity to spend time together, outside, while climbing along a mountain trail provides great moments to grow closer to each other and gain a deeper love and appreciation for this earth and the wondrous beauty around us. We have hiked many trails throughout the western states and Hawaii. Each one is unique and offers something the others do not. I would find it difficult to identify my favorite trail or hike.
As we hike along the different paths, they all share one thing in common, the farther along we get the more majestic and beautiful the scenery becomes. The more challenging the hike, the more beautiful they become. The reward is always worth the effort.
Many times people will stand at the base of the trail deciding whether or not to begin the journey. The assumption is made based upon how difficult the journey looks or at times the obvious lack of beauty at the beginning. We judge the outcome of the journey by where it starts instead of where it leads. Beauty is always found in the journey and where it leads, not by standing still at the bottom.
Our lives too resemble these hikes. If we judge others based upon the outward appearance instead of investing the energy necessary to take the journey required to know them we will never know the beauty that each person brings. If we choose to stand still and not invest the energy to take the journey necessary to find the beauty in any aspect of life, be it love, family relationships, school, work, religion, friendships, or anything, we will never discover the beauty that lies deep along the path.
While beauty is all around us, the ability to see it in its fullest grandeur requires effort on our part. Those who choose the take and complete the journey always find the greatest satisfaction and fulfillment.
Life is an amazing adventure when you are able to journey through this existence with someone you love. The little things don’t ever matter and the big things all become little things. My wife and I do not always see eye to eye on things, in fact we are on opposite sides of the spectrum at times. We have discovered that most of the areas where we disagree really don’t matter anyway as most often they are political or social in nature and truly have no impact on our lives. I believe this is the way we have been able to build such a magnificent, loving and beautiful relationship over the years.
We have both experienced painful pasts where trust was violated and the journey back to being able to love and trust has been a difficult one for both of us. The honesty with which we communicate with each other, while not always easy has given each of us the ability to trust one another and in turn has allowed our love to grow.
The journey through life can be a challenge and sometimes painful experience. Understanding that we have each carried with us those heavy burdens also allows us to lift them from each other as we walk through this life hand in hand. While most of our goals and desires in life are the same, we share with one another the enjoyment of discovering the differences each of us bring. It is through our differences that we actually grow the closest, as we discover new things in life from each other, it also drives us to discover new things we can share.
Our life is perfect. We are different but equal. We share everything while enjoying things the other doesn’t. We explore this world together, parent together and dream together. There isn’t a single morning that passes when I don’t get to listen to my wife’s sometimes crazy dreams. We laugh together and we cry together.
The journey to find one another has been hard, filled with heartache and sorrow along the way. The darkest of nights have led us each to the brightest of days in our lives. The journey has been worth every step, and for this I am deeply grateful that we have been brought together.
My world is enriched, blessed and filled with love and wonder with you at my side, thank you my beloved wife for being the amazing woman you are and making a me a better man.
Many friends I know feel as though the commandments are antiquated, outdated and not relevant in today’s world. This belief seems to be prevalent in our culture, Each of the ten commandments have become glamorized through our movies and invade our homes daily through the internet, television and music. We are falsely led to believe that the only way to have fun and enjoy life is to break the commandments and live a life without rules or restrictions.
This is the greatest lie ever told to mankind.
Happiness, joy, and peace can never be found violating these laws of God. The commandments are not given to us to restrict our lifestyle, they are given to provide direction and guidance that will bring about that happiness, joy and peace we long for. Living a life in harmony with Gods law is the only way to find that deep peace that our spirits hunger for. God’s laws are not meant to restrict us, he has given these laws to enable us to know how to bring about true joy and happiness in our lives.
Those who live the way of the world rush from one placebo to the next in looking for the happiness they long for. These placebo’s deceive the individual into believing they have found happiness, only for it to be fleeting and without substance or staying power.
Those who do all within their power to live God’s laws find great peace and comfort in abiding these commandments. These individuals are not prone to the heartache that comes as a natural consequence from violating these laws. They avoid the emotional roller coaster that comes from chasing after one placebo to the next and eliminate much worry and stress from their lives. As a God who loves his children, these commandments are designed to bring about joy in our lives, God desires that we are happy and have joy, his laws are the road map leading to it.
As society tries to eradicate these laws from our lives, through countless legal actions and maneuvers there are those who desire all to lose hope and chase after these placebos instead of discovering for themselves the inner peace and happiness that can be. Man continues its assault on God’s laws. Making a law declaring something legal, will never make it right. Making laws declaring something right as illegal will never them wrong.
There is only one way to true happiness and joy. All others are a deception.
Finding joy in our journey here on earth at times can seem daunting as life’s challenges and obstacles can create sometimes seemingly overwhelming sadness, sorrow and depression. Overcoming this cycle many of us find ourselves in at one point or another in this life is key to finding that lasting joy we all seek. It is upon learning, understanding, believing and then acting upon the belief, that we are in control of our own happiness and joy, that we can finally take control of our own lives. We can discover the true joy that exists and that we alone control. Perspective, gratitude and focus are some of the most powerful tools we have at our own personal disposal to change our own lives and find Joy in the journey. We alone control these tools, ones that can be used to change or destroy our lives. The choice is ours and ours alone, no one else can control that choice but ourselves.
Perspective and how we view ourselves, others around us, the circumstances we find ourselves in and the world around is critical to the level of happiness and joy we can attain in this life. By shifting our perspective towards a more positive outlook and looking at things from a broader view of the world we can eliminate much of our self doubt we encounter along the way. We will discover as we look through different lenses that the most difficult of life’s events can be overcome and that these moments can make us stronger. We will gain wisdom, understanding and clarity as we widen our view with which we see things. It’s all a matter of perspective.
Gratitude provides us the opportunity in our lives to see the blessings we are given each day. As we identify and write down the things we are grateful for our hearts and minds will be opened to seeing the positive in our lives. It may be as simple as a shirt on our backs, a dry place to sleep, to our children and families. Sincere gratitude for what we have in our lives and the blessings we are given, opens our hearts to recognizing that happiness does not come from no problems in our lives, it comes from our abilities to handle the problems we are given. Epicurus said it best “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Be grateful in all things.
Focus is a fundamental key to finding joy in our lives, The law of attraction is immensely powerful, we attract into our lives that which we focus upon. Finding a clear perspective in everything allows us to master this law of attraction and bring these things into our lives we all desire, for “man is that he might have joy.” The things that we focus upon in life are the things we attract in our life. If we spend our time and effort focusing upon the negative things that happen to us, our circumstances, or what we deem “unfair” we will attract more the those negative situations into our lives. An individual who is sick and spends their time focused on the sickness, always seems to get more sick. Individuals who focus on others, and service to others, are always surrounded by great friends while those that focus inward and their loneliness, find themselves more lonely. A positive focus in life will bring about positive effects in our lives. We master that where we spend our time and energy (focus).
Our lives are meant to be filled with happiness, joy and love. We alone control our success or failure in these areas. We are the captain of our own ship, the choices we make with our perspectives, gratitude and focus will determine the level of success in life we find.
“At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.” Steve Maraboli
This morning I arose early with the expectation that I would head into the office earlier than normal. I had planned on clearing all the little projects from my desk that seem to always be brushed aside. As I was getting ready to get in the shower, I heard a tiny giggle from the crib where our 9 month old daughter was. My wife picked up our daughter and hugged and kissed her. She turned her towards me and I was met with the most amazing and beautiful little smile. My heart melted. Plans changed.
Gently I took her and held her and kissed her. She beamed! Her beautiful brown eyes danced like a ballet as she kissed me back! My heart was pounding with the intensely deep love that I have for my children and our little daughter this particular morning. We sat on the bed and she crawled over me multiple times giggling. She would scoot next to me and lay her head on my chest. The world outside stopped. I spent the next hour playing on the bed, everything from hide and seek under the blankets to peek a boo to singing nursery rhymes. My heart swelled with love and joy as we played. She soon became sleepy again, she had woken earlier than usual, and she was soon fast asleep on my lap. I gently placed her back in bed and continued getting ready for work, to arrive at the usual time.
I found myself reflecting much about this morning and my precious time with my daughter. My thoughts turned the the simple tender moments in life and how it is in these moments that we have the greatest joy in our lives. Our lives are spent racing against deadlines, running to appointments and working long hours just to survive. We fill up the little precious time that is remaining plugged into ipods, social media, television and what I call NOISE. We are barraged by distractions and interruptions in our day to day lives. Some is placed upon us by work, some by ourselves and some by other people. Many of us chase dreams in the search for the ever elusive joy and happiness that is our deepest desire to feel.
I asked myself what other simple joys in life can bring such happiness and peace that I felt this morning playing with my daughter, For me, it can be a time with my dear children, a quiet hike in the mountains, the fall colors, the peaceful breeze the ocean waves against a sandy shoreline, and many many more.
When I unplug from all the outside distractions and reflect upon what brings the greatest peace into my life, it’s simple. The simple things. It’s not the money, the career, the car, the house, social circles etc… It is my children and the quiet times with them as well as the simple things in nature. The simple things in life bring the greatest opportunities for me to reconnect with myself, my family and my God, all things that in the end provide the joy in my life. The truly deep joy and happiness that I seek, the kind that energizes my soul are all the simple things.
Today was a reminder to me of the simple things, taking time to unplug and focus, if even for a minute on the things that matter in life. I am grateful that I have always been grounded enough to understand that my children truly bring me the joy and happiness that nothing else can. They are and always will be a top priority, right next to my dear beloved wife. These priorities prepared me the make the right decision this morning, a morning where I was filled with that immeasurable joy, the office could wait, my daughter couldn’t, and it was that choice the provided me the joy I would not have felt otherwise!