Can you stand firm
For what you believe
Or when the pressure is on
Your beliefs do you leave?
Can you stand toe to toe
With those whom ridicule
Or will you abandon your faith
So that you look real cool?
Do you speak up
For others harrassed
or do you look away
while you simply walk past?
Can you speak soflty
with those who dissent?
Or do you return the hatred
and vile that often is sent?
For one who is firm
in the beliefs of their heart
is never threatened
by those who aren’t
The other day during a moment of pondering I found myself reflecting back to my childhood when I was in the 1st grade. Few memories in life have stayed with me like the one I found myself remembering, one I have relived many times.
It was a warm fall afternoon. The leaves were changing color and falling from the trees. I was an excited 1st grader who was about to embark upon his first field trip with my class. We took with us our jackets, our sack lunches and most importantly our excitement for the new adventure we were about to embark upon. We headed off to a local and historic farm where we were able to see the animals, see how farms operated and of course the hay ride.
The day started off just as planned. We piled into the school bus and off we went. After spending time…
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Why is that some doors open
While other doors close
The timing of when
Nobody ever knows
So we chase our dreams
Through and open door
Never quite knowing
Truly whats in store
Sometimes we find
Darkness within
When the door closes
That we just stepped in
With faith we move forward
To find our way
Searching for the light
To lighten our day
Then another door opens
And the light shines so bright
As we step into brightness
And from the darkness of night
Many choices in life that others do make
That change our own path and the direction we take
For the choices of others impact us each day
some good, some bad, but all we must play
For when others choose something beyond our control
Our lives turned upside down, creating a hole
Yet those whom endure others’ choices that come
will rise to the top from incredible strength that they’ve won
for life’s many struggles that we endure every day
Yesterday in church my dear sweet daughter handed me her journal to read a story that she had just written, I was touched by her storytelling and amazed at the wisdom found within.
Londyn’s Story:
“Once upon a time in a magical forest there lived a magical unicorn, who lived in the Magical Kingdom.
One day the magical unicorn was taken captive by a terrible giant who wanted her magic for himself.
When they got to the giants enormous house the giant locked away the magical unicorn.
The Magic Kingdom was miserable without the magic unicorn.
One day the magical unicorn realized that she can break out of the dungeon with magic and then went home to the Magic Kingdom and the Magic Kingdom was happy again.”
– I was amazed at the incredible lesson she taught with this little story, simple yet profound. We all have “terrible giants” in our own lives that we allow to control us and our own happiness. We each have the “magic” within ourselves to conquer these giants and be happy.
We simply must understand that we have that magic to overcome and take control of the situation.
The greatest trials are overcome first within ourselves.
Last night I sat pondering the lost opportunities with my children and their resulting struggle to be able to open up and emotionally connect with me at times. Many of these challenges they face are a result of the conflicting messages delivered from their mother regarding my love for them and my own love towards them. The message conflicts and confuses my dear children. In her vile attempts to discredit me and hurt my relationship with my children the results do not match her desires yet create confusion and havoc in the minds of my precious little ones as they attempt to reconcile within their minds the opposite messages they are receiving.
As I sought Heavenly understanding of this situation the thought occurred to me that we too face this reality in our own lives with our very personal relationships with our Savior Jesus Christ, and Father in Heaven. I can only imagine upon the feelings that I have in my own life, with my extreme hunger to connect with my children more deeply, that our own Father in Heaven, whose love is perfect must also feel the extreme anguish of a Father desiring nothing more than to connect with his children. Do we as sons and daughters of God prevent this connection ourselves as result of the mixed messages continually bombarding us?
The world would tell us that God doesn’t exist, that he isn’t real. That if He did exist then what a cruel God he is for letting so many suffer as they do. That God doesn’t care what we do or how we act. These messages conflict with what each of us know and feel deep within ourselves. Their are many who would deny these feelings and replace them with confusion and chaos in order to alleviate the hunger inside of each of us to connect with our God and his utmost desire to connect with us.
Just as I long to hear from my children during those long breaks between visits and my hunger to feel their love, so does our Father in Heaven and His only Begotten Son desire the same with us.
As I pondered the anguish of my soul and the yearning to connect more deeply with my children, to help them through these challenges in their lives and the hunger within to feel their love for me, I understood their challenges more clearly in managing the pain that they feel within. For when I reflected upon the very reasons I struggle to connect with my Heavenly Father, it is a result of the heartache I hold within me that prevents me from feeling His love for me.
My failure to allow my Savior to remove this heartache from me directly impacts my relationship with Him and my Father, so too does my children’s heartache with me. It is in these times that my Heavenly Father has taught me the solution, His continual outpouring of love upon me and my family eases my burden, I am comforted to know that my outpouring of love upon my own children eases theirs.
We each experience pain and heartache in our life. These pains can become deep emotional scars that paralyze us from experiencing the joys that are to be found in this life. Finding joy in the journey can be difficult when the pains and wounds are so deep that despair almost seems inevitable. These wounds can become chains binding us from feeling anything but sorrow and despair.
Many times these pains come from those we have allowed into our lives, to be part of our life and to share our journey with. It can be from death to disagreements to rejection, anything, that create this intense pain, sorrow and loss. Sometimes they are family members, spouses, children, neighbors, friends and even our church leaders. Whoever they may be, many times this heartache burns deep within our souls and left unattended can crush our ability and desire to press forward. These sorrows for many…
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This picture was taken last Sunday by my dear wife as I slowly walked home with my precious two year old by my side. As I have looked at this picture numerous times over the past 5 days I can not help but express my deep and humble gratitude for a Father in Heaven who provides the greatest miracles in our lives when we need them the most.
Many who have followed this blog for any period of time has undoubtedly read some of the posts in “A Fathers Heartache”. For more than a decade I have carried a tremendous heartache at the many missed memories and moments with my children. While this amazing gift and blessing of my dear sweet Bella has eased this pain, nothing can replace what has been lost with my older children, moments such as these are all the more sweeter than anyone whom has never felt this heartache could relate.
These moments for me are precious and priceless. This picture of me carrying her little backpack, walking slowly as her tiny legs tried to go as fast as she could are the epitome of these tender moments and mercies from a loving God who heard my cries over the years.
Whenever something in our lives is lost to us due to circumstances beyond our control, our Father in Heaven rewards us more than we deserve. My dear sweet Bella encapsulates this as this precious tiny dear sweet spirit and daughter fills so many holes in my heart. I am blessed to call her mine.
jisbell22 