Fear is probably the single biggest cause for failure in our lives. It is most often accompanied by worry and doubt. When these are present in our lives we cripple our ability to excel and thrive. We create our own obstacles and stop our progression. Fear will usually cause a fight or flight reaction. More often than not, the majority of people will fly. They run and hide from the fear instead of fighting it. While hiding from our fear, we begin to doubt ourselves and worry about the future. Instead of taking control of our future, we cripple it.
I understand that many of us have some real fears in our lives, these can be more challenging and difficult to overcome. We also each maintain many fears that are not only self created, but unfounded. We may fear for a family member and their struggles, or a fear of losing a job that we already have. This creates many times a self fulfilling prophecy, we fear we will lose our job, the worry and doubt in our abilities that accompanies the fear impact our abilities and performance in our job and we then create our own dismissal from our employment as a result. We bring to pass our own fears into reality. We may fear getting ill and the worry and doubt that accompanies it as we hyper focus on it in turn truly makes us sick, again we fulfill our own fears. These are just a couple of examples that lead to the fulfillment of our own self imposed fears.
Conversely, hope and belief can create an opposite effect. As we hope for a better life and believe that we deserve one, when our actions align with those beliefs we will open doors for ourselves that will lead to our own success. The old adage, if we can dream it, we can achieve it,.. this is true yet belief must accompany the dream for us to achieve those dreams. I have many acquaintances whom believe that they do not deserve anything better than what they have achieved or been given. This becomes true for them as they never move beyond what they have.
I remember as a young man starting out in my career for a whopping $4.75 per hour. I was happy because it was not the grocery store where I had been working prior for a mere $3.25 an hour. I had taken a step forward and I knew in my heart and believed unequivocally in myself that I would excel in this career and do very well for myself. I exceeded the expectations of everyone around me and created through hard work and my self belief tremendous success in my career. My success in my career became an anchor in my life and a road map in overcoming obstacles and challenges. Each time fear would show its ugly head I would fight it, face it and conquer it. I never allowed the doubt to accompany the fear and each time worry would enter my mind, I eliminated as soon as I was able to clearly identify why I was worried.
We can can achieve anything we want in this life with hard work and belief in ones self. In order to do so we must eliminate fear, doubt and worry from our lives. The future is ours to design and create. What we choose to bring with us will determine the level of success and happiness we achieve.
As a child I was raised knowing that the things I wanted in my life were available to me if I worked hard, set and achieved goals, got an education and took opportunities as they came along, and above all that I was honest with myself and others. I was raised in a conservative, traditional family where values, integrity and hard work were taught, they were the center of our lives. We only bought what we could afford, and worked for what we needed. There was a difference in our home between wants and needs, and we always had what we needed, and us boys, there were 6 of us, would have to work for what we wanted.
Our parents taught us to work and to work hard. We had chores and they weren’t just cleaning up after ourselves. It was irrigating the garden, weeding, pouring cement, roto-tilling, hanging sheetrock, and the list goes on… We learned how to repair things around the house including our cars. We were taught to do things for ourselves. We never received a handout and while our friends may have been playing, we worked. Don’t get me wrong, we had times to play after our chores were done, and we had an amazing childhood. We would have a list and would be expected to have them done before dad got home from work. There were more chores in the summer and less during school. We were expected to get our homework done and get good grades. We weren’t paid for these chores or for our grades, it was expected. We didn’t talk back, and were taught to respect our elders.
Where have we gone from these values and teachings as families? as a community,? as a people? We now live in a world of entitlements and freebies. No one wants to work for things yet want everything handed to them immediately, as if they truly deserve them. We as a people have become so accustomed to being given everything we have without working for it. We finance things for instant gratification. We don’t know how to save money, we don’t teach work ethics, honesty, integrity to our children. We are giving our children everything they want and not making them understand the value and character that comes from work.
Work is not just about earning money, it is about character and discipline and self esteem and self worth. When we do not work for what we are given we have no self respect. Our character is lacking and with that our judgement and wisdom decline. With the decline in our judgement, our morals decay and society fails. We lose our freedoms as a people and as a nation because we fail to learn and develop our character as children.
Our society has become one where the youth play video games, hang out, talk back, demand the latest gadgets, disrespect their elders and feel they are entitled to everything their parents have worked hard for without even lifting a finger to work for it themselves. When they make mistakes they blame others, and take no responsibility for their actions. We continue to support this behavior with a sense of wanting our children to have everything we didn’t have. We neglect to see that by avoiding the structure and discipline that is required to be successful while they are children we are setting them and this nation up for failure.
This nation was built with a strong worth ethic and a people of deep character. We are losing those traits, as is evidenced by the individuals we elect to lead us. They too feel it necessary to provide a free ride to anyone who wants it and doesn’t need it. I am all for Charity. I believe in Charity. I also believe that self worth and self esteem are developed through hard work and in picking ourselves up when we do fall. We need to help those around us while at the same time providing a means wherein they can keep their self worth. Those that earn things in life are far greater prepared for difficult times than those whom everything is given, especially as a child.
Children need love, shelter, food, clothing and parents who teach them to be self sufficient and to work for things in life. Our nation is in trouble, morals are decaying and we are failing our children and grandchildren. We need to learn the difference between needs and wants, and then teach them to our children.
My dad passed away 6 years ago this month. I have been asked many times to share the talk that I gave at his funeral as I said goodbye to a giant of a man! Here is for you Dad, you will never be forgotten and we will always be blessed from your life and the example that it was for us.
Here is the talk:
The apostle Paul said in his second epistle to Timothy… I have fought a good fight…
There is no greater truth that could be said than this of my father… He fought a good fight. His life is a road map on enduring to the end and overcoming obstacles and trials.
I have spent much time reflecting on my father’s life this past week… I am reminded of my favorite Christmas show, one that as a child I fondly remember watching each Christmas eve with my parents.
It’s a Wonderful Life…..
A story of a man who is allowed to witness what others lives would be like, had he never been born…
Dad… your life has had a dramatic impact on every person who has had the privilege of knowing you… you have forever changed lives for the better of each and every person who knows and loves you…
My father was born on May 11, 1943….. As a child, he was abused, neglected, outcast, and abandoned by those who should have loved and supported him.. raised in poverty his mother didn’t want him and his father denied him…The only love my father was shown as a child came from his maternal grandparents whom he stayed briefly with as a child before being ripped away from that home to live with his abusive step father and mother. He with his little brother fought to survive amidst abuse, loneliness and heartache…He set goals for himself and he achieved them…My father knew without goals he would never be able to pull himself out of the intense pain and sorrow he was experiencing in his life..He excelled in school and in sports… He went on to swim for Granite High and his relay team set a new state record, one that would survive for nearly 2 decades..
My father would spend hours praying to be delivered from this sorrow and abuse… the Lord in his infinite mercy did not leave him, but provided my mother and her family and many great men as friends… answers to a young mans prayers..By marrying my mother and her families example, my father finally knew what family was supposed to be like… as was customary in all things with my father, he emulated and improved upon this for his own family and children..
In the August 1986 Ensign Dr Carl Broderick, a sociology professor at USC said; “God actively intervenes in some destructive lineages, assigning a valiant spirit to break the chain of destructiveness in such families.. Although these children may suffer innocently as victims of violence, neglect, and exploitation, through the strength of God, some find the strength to metabolize the poison within themselves refusing to pass it on to future generations. Before them were generations of destructive pain, after them the line flows clear and pure. Their children and their children’s children will call them blessed. In suffering innocently so that others might not suffer, such persons in some degree become as “saviors on mount zion” by helping to bring salvation to a lineage..”
Thank you dad for breaking the chain of violence and bringing salvation to our family… your children, grand children and great grandchildren already call you blessed.
My father went to work for Sperry, which after many many name changes and never changing desks it became L3… He loved work and worked hard… Everything my father ever did he was the best in… He could fix or build anything he set his mind to..He was loved by so many… I remember as a child all of my cousins would seek out my fathers approval for anything… new boyfriends or new girlfriends… anything… They loved my dad and my dad loved them…My dad could get them to do anything for him…especially practical jokes…. He loved practical jokes, as many who worked with him could attest…
One of the most memorable stories of my youth involved a beach.. a cousin… an uncle… and a bucket of sand. My dad convinced my cousin Marilyn during a family vacation to California to sneak up behind my uncle Gail with a bucket of sand… My uncle Gail always wore cowboy boots and jeans… and here we were at the beach and he was sitting down watching the kids play in the water… he didn’t suspect a thing although he should have known better. Marilyn who did anything Uncle Dave asked dutifully obliged my father and dumped this bucket over Uncle Gail’s head… while my dad videotaped it of course… Imagine the laughter as we watched a teenage girl in sandals outrun a cowboy in his boots on the sandy beach as he chased her until he couldn’t run any more…. He never did catch her…
My dad was an extremely competitive man… This competitiveness and determination is what allowed him to overcome his childhood and made him the success he was in life and work…He instilled in his boys hard work and determination through his example. I remember about 6 months after dads kidney transplant… he was swimming everyday… he loved to swim… I too was swimming each night and our daily discussions always ended up being about how far we swam.I would swim a mile and that night I would tell him… I swam a mile today dad.. the next day he would beat me and tell me “I went a mile and a quarter today!” Well of course I wasn’t going to lose to an old man who just had a kidney transplant so I would go beat him the next day…and of course he would have to outdo me…he would take my son Josh with him to swim and he would always tell him I have to beat your dad… this continued daily until he came down with cancer and no longer had the strength to swim… Yet even during his chemo he would still have to out drive me on the golf course
My dad always provided opportunities for teaching and helping his children.. Even in his death he has provided numerous opportunities to teach, learn, and grow. Last night after the viewing my son who is 7 was asking me about grandpa and death. In the quiet late night hours last night as he sat on my lap and with tears in his eyes he told me that he knew his grandpa was smiling down on him and that we would see him again..I had a marvelous opportunity to share again the plan of salvation, of life, and how death is simply the journey home to our loving heavenly father.. that we will be reunited and have the opportunities of eternal families which come through the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and of the need for temples.My son was able to understand in greater detail Jobs question of “If a man die, shall he live again?” He knows the answer to this question is a resounding yes! and has strengthened his understanding of temple work and why his dad goes to the temple.
In my dads final years… he shared that as a result of his abuse as a child he had lived a lifetime wondering if God loved him… In his final hours he knew with certainty of Heavenly Fathers deep love for him..As he lovingly held the hand of his lifelong sweetheart, surrounded by family and feeling the outpouring of love, as his boys gently placed their hands on his head, with tears of love pouring from them as a final blessing of peace and love was pronounced upon his head tears of joy and understanding came to my father as he realized how loved and blessed of the Lord he had been in this life..His family surrounded him in love as he peacefully journeyed home to the loving embrace of our Heavenly Father to prepare the way for his family to join him in the eternities…It is my humble testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ and his plan of salvation. Death is not the end.. it is the journey home to the loving embrace of our Heavenly Father and those who went before… Goodbye for now dad… until we meet again.. in the name of Jesus Christ… amen
The deliberate and systematic attack in this country on traditional values and religion are exploding. We are no longer sliding down this hill, we have jumped off the cliff. We are in a free fall. Those in this country who hold dear to them religion and traditional values are being usurped by those who have no moral compass and no belief in God.
The fight is between those who want to keep values in our society, and those who adamantly fight against any moral compass that imposes upon others rights to do as they please. The irony that I find through this debate, which is in my opinion no longer a debate but a war, is that those who desire no moral compass for this nation and its people do not allow those with religious beliefs and values the freedom and peace to worship as they desire. Those who maintain their religious convictions will typically allow others to be left in peace to follow their own path of choosing. The freedoms to exercise personal beliefs are granted by those who have something to believe in and those same freedoms are being trampled on by those who have nothing to believe in.
The greatness of this nation comes from our ability as a people to believe as we choose. We can choose to worship our God or we can choose to believe that there is no god and everything in between. This system has been in place now for 237 years and as we have allowed this freedom to take place we have thrived as a nation.
Now that the war is raging against those who choose to believe in God and in religion. Those on the other end continue the barrage against anyone who believes. They picket their meetings and conferences. They utilize hate speech in the name of free speech to attack and degrade those who believe. They push for laws that limit religious beliefs. The ability for people to worship God is being threatened daily by policies and laws that label religion as hate speech.
Those that are fighting against those that Believe are fighting for their rights to believe as they choose while denying those very rights to others to believe in and worship God. They fail to see that they are allowed to believe or not to believe in what they choose to based upon the very freedoms they are trying to remove. The cliff that they are taking this nation over in this war against religion will only hurt them in the end as the freedom to worship is attacked and weakened, their own freedoms to believe or not to believe will also be weakened.
A former aquaintance of mine who is very much on the forefront of these attacks on religion recently posted that he does hate religion and those who believe in God and that he has a right to protest that. His deeply flawed opinion on this weakens all of us including himself. Destroying these personal rights of anyone to worship or not worship without fear, threats or intimidation will in end be the destruction of this nation.
Several years ago, lacrosse got the kind of unwanted publicity that would make a Kardashian cringe.
Deadspin published an alleged email exchange between a Virginia-based club coach and the parents of a player who was leaving for another club team. Their son, they explained, was “unhappy and very demotivated to play. We as a family think it is time we make a change.”
The club coach responded with venom, a terrifying glimpse of someone who truly believed he held the authority to mold this player’s future.
“I will speak to coach Bordley and college coaches immediately and make sure they know they are getting a quitter who is ungrateful and soft who can’t take criticism… You have no clue how this lacrosse world works. Wow. You have really screwed him.”
Just before a game between his club and the player’s new club, the coach sent one last email which included this bold statement: “Your former teammates and…
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