Last night I sat pondering the lost opportunities with my children and their resulting struggle to be able to open up and emotionally connect with me at times. Many of these challenges they face are a result of the conflicting messages delivered from their mother regarding my love for them and my own love towards them. The message conflicts and confuses my dear children. In her vile attempts to discredit me and hurt my relationship with my children the results do not match her desires yet create confusion and havoc in the minds of my precious little ones as they attempt to reconcile within their minds the opposite messages they are receiving.
As I sought Heavenly understanding of this situation the thought occurred to me that we too face this reality in our own lives with our very personal relationships with our Savior Jesus Christ, and Father in Heaven. I can only imagine upon the feelings that I have in my own life, with my extreme hunger to connect with my children more deeply, that our own Father in Heaven, whose love is perfect must also feel the extreme anguish of a Father desiring nothing more than to connect with his children. Do we as sons and daughters of God prevent this connection ourselves as result of the mixed messages continually bombarding us?
The world would tell us that God doesn’t exist, that he isn’t real. That if He did exist then what a cruel God he is for letting so many suffer as they do. That God doesn’t care what we do or how we act. These messages conflict with what each of us know and feel deep within ourselves. Their are many who would deny these feelings and replace them with confusion and chaos in order to alleviate the hunger inside of each of us to connect with our God and his utmost desire to connect with us.
Just as I long to hear from my children during those long breaks between visits and my hunger to feel their love, so does our Father in Heaven and His only Begotten Son desire the same with us.
As I pondered the anguish of my soul and the yearning to connect more deeply with my children, to help them through these challenges in their lives and the hunger within to feel their love for me, I understood their challenges more clearly in managing the pain that they feel within. For when I reflected upon the very reasons I struggle to connect with my Heavenly Father, it is a result of the heartache I hold within me that prevents me from feeling His love for me.
My failure to allow my Savior to remove this heartache from me directly impacts my relationship with Him and my Father, so too does my children’s heartache with me. It is in these times that my Heavenly Father has taught me the solution, His continual outpouring of love upon me and my family eases my burden, I am comforted to know that my outpouring of love upon my own children eases theirs.