Kindness Begets Confidence

kindness

 

Previously I have written about how we treat others is truly a reflection on how we feel about ourselves titled ‘Self Reflection in Others”

This post was about how we feel about ourselves is manifest in the way we respond and interact to those around us.  When we accept this self realization we can become kinder and more gentle, yet more powerful and confident.

The other side of this spectrum also holds true.  When we are treated poorly by others, we often react to the stimuli, whether this reaction is silent or outspoken for the world to hear, we all react.

The difficult part of this comes within ourselves.  Do we choose to see and listen to the abuse from others, allowing them to ruin our day?  Do we shy away from someone due to potential conflict?  Do we deny ourselves experiences based upon someone else’s behavior?

Many times we choose to allow others power over us in the way that they treat us.   We teach others how we want to be treated based upon what we will accept from them.  When we hold our ground, kindly, firmly,  yet peacefully we have more power in that moment than the other person could ever have.

Power comes from confidence and knowing who we are.   Part of this knowing is understanding this dynamic of how we treat others is a reflection upon how we feel about ourselves.

So true is how others treat us is how they feel about themselves.  Those that are angry or mean spirited individuals in reality have terrible self esteem and do not like themselves.  Whether it be the waitress that was rude, the tire tech that called you a jerk, the guy that flipped you off on the highway.  These individuals who go through life bulldozing over others are so disgusted within themselves that they react to their own internal struggles and guilt by abusing those they come in contact with.

As we lift and serve one another we can find that we actually become stronger, more confident individuals as this manifests beauty within ourselves.  We see ourselves in the people we serve with heartfelt kindness and genuine intent.  We can improve our own self loathing through this service.

The way we treat others, including strangers, not only reflects how we feel about ourselves but also creates within growth in those feelings.   If we treat others in a negative fashion, we will certainly see ourselves worse than we did before.  If we are kind, we too see that within ourselves.  We gain confidence, strength and humility along the way.

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Wal Mart and Big Retailers Killed Customer Service in America

When I was a kid growing up, I was taught respect and courtesy.  These traits were taught from a young age.  This not only taught me how to treat others in my life, including strangers, but also how I should be treated as an individual.

As corporate giants such as Wal Mart have taken over the world over last 40 plus years, we have traded in respect and courtesy in favor of the inexpensive and cheap merchandise these retailers peddle.  Our insatiate desire to have more and more has increased these retailers have jumped in and stolen from our society respect and courtesy once commonplace amongst us.

As these employers need more and more employees to staff their growing business they are relinquished to hiring anyone that breaths.  This new crop of employees have grown up in a world where they can get anything they want.  They are typically young egocentric kids that have no respect for anyone and this carries over to their work at these retailers.   The retailers are unable to fire them because they need so many employees to run the store, management accepts their behavior.

We as consumers have traded respect and courtesy in favor of the low cost, cheap merchandise they peddle and we accept this to feed our own vanity with the cool cheap stuff we buy.

This problem has proliferated and become so commonplace that it now exists in nearly every experience in every location with every person we meet.  Respect and courtesy of others has been lost.  We have accepted rude and belligerent treatment from so many employees in every store, restaurant and shopping interaction for so long, that it has become the “normal.”  Employees get away with it because the few complaints that management will receive is brushed off.  They accept it because we accept it. There are no consequences for this behavior.

The meaning behind customer service is dead!

In restaurants, we tip, not for the service but because it is expected of us.  We have let the retailers and restaurants tell us how they will treat us and we have blindly accepted their bidding.  In doing so, we have killed respect and courtesy in every part of our lives.

We don’t say thank you when a door is held open for us.  We don’t wave kindly thanking the car that let us into the congested street.   We don’t return a kind smile.  We don’t say please and thank you.

In sacrificing respect and courtesy in favor of the cheap, we have cheapened our world and the diminished our own richness in life.