The collision of “when” and “If Only”



“If Only”  I could make just enough money to pay my rent I would be happy”

“If only” I could make $20.00 per hour I would be so happy”

“If only my wife would listen to me more and stop nagging”

If only……. How many times have we found ourselves asking this question in life?

One of the greatest lessons that I have ever learned in my life was to lose the desperation in my life and believe in myself, believe that I was worth more than the “If Only”

If only places self imposed limits upon ourselves, it sets the bar at the lowest we could possibly place it  in any aspect of our lives.

I remember building my first company, I would continually tell myself if I could only land one new client a week then I could really get this going… If only I could land one good client, business would get better.   I was seemingly desperate to have that “only if” happen.

As fate would have it, I received EXACTLY what I was asking for.  I began receiving the only if, which was the lowest bar I could set for myself.   Sales struggled, clients sensed the desperation that “only if” created.   Opportunity was being squandered.

Then one day it struck me like a lightning bolt.  If I believed that I was truly worth more than any only if could ever give me, then I should start acting and believing that I was more.

I stopped using only if in my life.   I started setting goals that made me believe that I was worth more.   As I hit one goal , I would raise that bar higher.  It was no longer only if, it was now “when”.

As I started to think in terms of “When” I achieve something instead of “only if” I could achieve something,  I became more powerful and in control of my own destiny.   No longer was I dependent upon what someone else thought of me, I was taking control and believing in the “when.”

“When” creates a certainty that something will happen while “only if” creates chance.  I started to take control that things will happen and took chance out of the equation.

“When” we believe in ourselves and our own abilities we create the opportunities we need to fundamentally change our lives, while thinking in terms of “only if” we create false dreams with no clear pathway to that success.

“When” is definitive and full of belief.  “Only if” is full of doubt and chance.




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