Projecting Blame for Our Own Actions


We cast upon others that which we ourselves struggle the most with.  We are terrified as people to see our own weaknesses within ourselves so we project our own insecurities upon others, many times upon those whom we love the most and who in return love us the most.

We may hurt someone deeply and instead of seeing the pain we cause them, we project it upon them and blame them for the heartache they feel in their life, as if the hurt was caused not by our own actions, but those whom we have hurt.  This lack of self acceptance and responsibility for our actions is often driven by our fear of examining ourselves and our own behaviors.  It is simpler for us to blame the person hurt than to accept our culpability in causing the pain.  We close our eyes and hide from this, moving forward feeling sorry for the individual while refusing to feel the sorrow for the pain we cause.

We then move forward through life, years may pass and neither us nor the person we hurt has been able to heal as the blame is continually miscast at the wrong feet, one person being deluged with reminders of the heartache, the other oblivious to the pain that they caused due to their fear of self examination and acceptance of ones own actions.

Judging becomes a mechanism to prevent the pain we feel when we finally acknowledge our culpability.

Once we do determine and truly accept our actions that have caused another person pain, if truly sorrowful we will do all in our power to restore things that have been lost as a result of our actions and the ensuing blame we falsely placed.

We Don’t Need Tough Love, We Need Tough Love.

Another great post filled with insight and wisdom, from Emily over at light the lie. So very true about the kind of love we need in this life versus the kind so many of us give. Thank you Emily!

Light The Lie


I’ve heard the phrase so many times, “It’s just a little tough love.” Typically after a parent, teacher, mentor, coach, or friend says something that sounds quite opposite from love. Do you enjoy receiving this kind of ‘tough love’? I sure don’t.

I feel completely defeated–less than.

When you actually take a look at the word ‘tough,’ it means something much different than how we use it in that phrase.

Tough: strong enough to withstand adverse conditions or rough or careless handling.”

We need a love that is strong enough to withstand adverse conditions or rough or careless handling. We need strong love. We need the real tough love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps…

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A Hearts Fortress


There are few who know of that deep hidden place

Always hiding behind the mask of my face

A place where sorrows are banished to stay

Where heartache buried and locked away

The pain and sorrow that’s haunted my life

locked away, it still cuts like a knife

Locked up deep and hidden within

A place of stone where no one gets in

Few times there be that the fortress walls crack

When emotions fly out and go on attack

The pain it cuts so deep inside

Nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide

I pick myself up, and rebuild the wall

From these emotions inside I run from their call

No one knows of the pain deep inside

Far behind this smile, these sorrows do hide

The Power of Thought


With thoughts entertained

The actions now come

Actions in life

Are what we become

Our thoughts we do own

And to us do belong

Controlling your thoughts

you can never go wrong

For our lives we do choose

with each thought in mind

We control our own destiny

the good and bad times

for no one can ever

control what you think

it is your choice alone

if you rise or do sink