Anger disrupts our lives in many unpredictable ways. When we let anger enter our heart, it can complicate the most important relationships we have. Our closest relationships are also the ones that feel the greatest impacts of our ups and downs in life and they ride along the emotional rollercoaster all of us can ride.
This past December, the company I was doing some work for was sold. It is a national AMC located in Utah and I was acting as their National Sales manager. All the corporate relationships the company maintained rested upon my shoulders to keep happy and I was the face of the company for these clients.
The sale of the company brought new ownership into play. After one week of working with this group, and learning more about them individually, my wife and I decided that I could not tie my reputation to theirs and as the face of the company, I represented the new owners. My integrity was worth more than a paycheck.
After a week of deliberation, I respectfully gave my two weeks notice and prepared for the new executive a current working list for prospects, as well as the key contacts within each organization we dealt with. Upon learning of my notice, one of the minority owners, whom I had dealt with in the past, came in and proceeded to inform me that they were not going to honor the two weeks notice, nor pay me the $22,000 in unpaid commissions I had earned. This arrogant man proceeded to berate me and take his frustrations out on me over the course of the next 30 minutes, and then I was escorted from the office.
I was angry and upset. I had respectfully provided them a notice, prepared for them an exit strategy for me and agreed to help with a smooth transition for my departure. I knew it would be unfair to both myself and this company for me to continue to work for them when I knew in my heart that I could no longer sell this company and the new ownership to my clients. I knew it would be best for me to just leave peacefully and move on.
The company then proceeded to harass me with multiple phone calls and emails from the owners, their new executive and their attorney attempting to intimidate me into signing a non disclosure and non solicitation agreement, after they had berated me and refused me my earned commissions. I refused to sign this document, and then they said they would pay me my salary for the two weeks if I signed, however there would be no payment of the earned commissions.
Over the next couple of weeks, I became angry and wanted justice. It frustrated me and the angrier I became, the more the anger pulled me in.
The part that was most difficult during this process for me to see, was what that anger I had let into my life was doing to my relationships. it was hurting those I loved the most, not these fools that I was angry at, but those I loved more than life itself. My wife and I have an amazing relationship and for the first time ever, we found ourselves arguing one with another. Our children were impacted as their happy, carefree father was at odds with my wife and not in the mood to be anyone.
Thank goodness for the redeeming power of prayer, as I sought direction in what I should do, the answer was simple yet extremely difficult to do. Let go!
I needed to let go, not only of the anger but of the situation as well. I needed to look forward and not behind.
As I did so, the harmony was restored in my marriage, with my children and in my home and life.
Allowing the anger into my life with a situation I had little control over cost me more pain in the hurt brought upon those I love the most. What was in my control was my own behavior, once corrected harmony returned.
Anger brings unforeseen dangers into our lives. Anger cannot exist with love, one always suffers for the other.