The Double Standard of Domestic Violence


There is a scourge upon society that infiltrates every community, race, social class and religion.  Domestic Violence is such a heinous crime that it destroys many lives and affects nearly 1 in 3 individuals.  This is an epidemic that has destroyed generations of families, yet one that has continually been swept under the rug, hidden away and not discussed.  A dirty little secret no one wanted to ever discuss.  It affects children, men and women.  All can be victims for it is not a scourge that only affects women, or children.  Many men are also victims.

The subject of domestic violence has received a tremendous amount of publicity as of late.  The high profile accusations against several athletes has brought this to a fever pitch.  The advertisers and the public are demanding reform and action take place.  Many are calling for the resignation of Roger Goodell, commissioner of the NFL.  Many players have been suspended, or banned from the sport.  People are calling for quick and swift action against these players, the teams and the league.

Keep in mind, these players have only been charged, not found guilty.  Yes!  I do understand the video evidence in the Ray Rice deal.  That single case, with the evidence available should be dealt with immediately.  Many of the others are accusations, not convictions.   Society wants them punished simply on an accusation.

Then today,  along comes a little story on FOX Sports regarding another professional athlete, an Olympian no less.  One who represents the United States on the world stage in soccer.  Another Domestic Violence incident.  However, the difference with this case and why it is not getting the national microscopic attention of the other cases is, this is a woman who is charged with the violence.  Ironically there is also a history of violence in her relationships, this is not her first time involved in a domestic violence disturbance, yet the sponsors, the Olympic Committee, coaches and organization are supporting her and standing behind her while she sorts out this unfortunate situation.

Where is the public outcry?  Where is the media?  Where are the sponsors threatening to cancel their agreements with the USOC?  Where are the demands for the resignations of the head of the USOC?

Domestic violence of any sort should be abhorred and steps taken to stop and prevent it from happening should be swift and precise.  There MUST be equality in the decisions made surrounding the alleged perpetrators regardless of gender.

Anything less than complete refusal to accept domestic violence in any sort from any individual will only exacerbate the problem.  The gross inequal attention and treatment based upon gender, age, or any other microscope is abhorrently wrong and will cause significant damage to the cause of eradicating this scourge.

Hope Solo of the US Women Soccer team should be treated the same as any NFL player currently under investigation.

Related articles:

:US Soccer happy to let Solo play despite - happy-to-let-solo-play-despite-domestic-violence-charges-092314


32 thoughts on “The Double Standard of Domestic Violence

  1. I worked with victims of domestic violence about 10 years ago. Even at that time, two of the ten court ordered counselling groups offered to perpetrators consisted of women. I find it interesting that media glorifying violent women seems to be on the rise parallel to the increase in women perpetrators.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a survivor of Domestic violence, I agree. I have seen strong men that I love be berated, and even slapped or smacked by a partner; with nowhere to go. The stigma needs to go away. We need to advocate for all survivors, be they male, female, young or old. Thank you for posting this. Gracie

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is important to note the Scarlet Letter attached to the people involved in these situations. People who have been on the receiving end of domestic violence are always and forever victims, their opinions, considered or otherwise, dismissed because of what they went through. People who have been on the delivering end of domestic violence are always and forever monsters, their opinions, considered or otherwise, dismissed because they are seen to be making excuses.

    Ray Rice’s wife’s voice was dismissed despite her apology, an apology that is especially warranted given the elevator video showing her take a step back and then lunge at him with her arm back, prepared to strike.

    In any case, since you spoke of double-standards and somehow stumbled across and decided to ‘follow’ my blog, I’d like to direct you to something I wrote up recently on the subject (


  4. Pingback: #DomesticViolence #DoubleStandards | johndwmacdonald

  5. Thank-you very much for the follow – I am very grateful. I have been reading a number of your posts this evening. Really interesting and thought-provoking comments on life, poetry good and Bridger’s stories fabulous – a budding author.


  6. The first time I heard of Hope Solo being charged was from your post, possibly because I’m not tuned into the media, possibly because the media didn’t report as you suggested. Then I went to the gym and I saw the scrolling concerns on the ESPN channel. Then this morning I eagerly grabbed the paper expecting for it to be plastered in at least the sports section….nope. Very little coverage to say the least and I agree there is definitely a double standard but a major problem with media. I will do some investigating on this case and share what I find. Thanks for your post!


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