An Old Photo and a Lesson Learned

A few years back I stumbled across an old photo that I had forgotten was ever taken.   The photo by itself was rather insignificant, the impact of finding the photo and the lesson I learned while pondering about that time in my life has changed much in how I view life and the change that comes over time.

The photo, a rather simple picture of myself at 17 alone in our pool.  I was somewhat surprised to see myself at 17, a somewhat good looking young man, tanned, shirtless and rather ripped.  I never saw myself that way, even in school as a 17 year old boy.  When I saw that picture, my first impression was WOW! did I ever look that good, followed by an immediate second thought of wishing I could look like that again.

As I thought over the next few days about wishing I could get back to that same physical condition I was in at 17 the thought came to me that the reality of that might be difficult at best.  Life had changed and as I had aged.  I had also taken on tremendously more responsibilities in life than I had at 17.  When the picture was taken, I was able to swim for an hour and a half every morning, I would run between 5-7 miles each afternoon and then my friends and I would play basketball for a couple hours each evening.

Life was simple, I had time available for those pursuits.

The lesson learned, one that has changed much of how I view changes in life…

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE WHAT YOU USED TO HAVE THEN YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU USED TO DO.

See, if I wanted the same physique I had at 17, then I would have to be willing to put in the kind of time necessary to get it back.  I would have to be as active as I was then.

This lesson though goes much deeper than exercise and physique.  This lesson is about life.

One example of this is in relationships, yet this permeates every aspect of our lives.

Many times I hear people, couples complaining that he/she isn’t the way they were when we were dating.  They’ve changed and aren’t the same person.  My question to them is this… Are you the same person?  Do you act the same with them now as you did then?

Do you kiss as often?  Hold hands as often?  Laugh together as often?  Date as often?  This list could go on forever.

Many times when people meet and fall in love, they fall in love because they are interested in the other person and want to spend as much time with them as possible.  They look at each others strengths and what makes them such a good person.  They see only the good in them.  They make time for one another and date often.

Somehow, life takes over and our time gets filled up, much like between now and when I was 17.  My time being active was replaced.  Our time with our spouses and loved ones get replaced by other things.  Work, kids, school, etc…  We begin finding faults in one another instead of the strengths we once saw.

We find ourselves longing for what we once shared and trying to find our way back to that.

Here is where the lesson becomes the most powerful.

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE WHAT YOU USED TO HAVE THEN YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU USED TO DO.

If you want to go back to what you had, then you must go back to how you were.  Be the person you once were before you allowed distractions to take you away from what you really wanted and found in the first place.

I would never have lost my six pack had I never stopped what I was doing to get and keep it.  This same holds true for life, our relationships and our families.  We MUST continue doing the things that made us happy in the first place.  When we found love.  If we want to rediscover that then we must go back to what we did the first time around.

Just as getting my six pack back won’t be easy after years of neglect, it can be done, the same holds true for relationships, the course won’t always be simple and easy, however we are certain that happiness exists when we are doing the simple things that brought it to us in the first place.

This lesson also holds true in the opposite.  If we are not happy then how can we ever be by doing the same things that make us unhappy?

Our lives are determined by our actions.  It is through those actions that we determine our happiness and satisfaction in life.