Wayne Dyer said it best “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
I have recently encountered the most unfortunate comments, accusations, judgements and statements regarding Max Hall and his personal demons, issues and struggles. As many already know, Max Hall, the former NFL and BYU quarterback was recently arrested for shoplifting and drug possession. An all too common and deeply troubling pattern among professional athletes.
I do not condone, support or in any way approve of the actions that have led to his downfall and subsequent arrest. He is a troubled young man who has made some serious mistakes of late that have resulted in his high profile arrest.
What I find the most troubling about this story is not the mistakes of Max Hall, it is the vile and venom so many have shared on social media regarding the revelry they are enjoying at someone else and their problems. The enjoyment and satisfaction others seem to get, the vile and horrific names that strangers have called him. Strangers who I might add most certainly do not know the man on any personal level.
What does this storyline truly tell us?
Is it that a single individual, one in the public eye is struggling with personal demons that have subsequently ruined their life?
Or, Is it a greater tragedy as to the utter embarrassment and fall of so many in their personal actions and behavior to take joy and satisfaction from another person’s personal trials and issues?
How many of us would fare so well if our lives and every misstep we have ever taken was broadcast to the world for their scrutiny? I am certain others would undoubtedly find joy in our stumbles along lives path. How would we respond if the world were watching us and our mistakes made national headlines?
So what makes others judge so quickly and harshly? There are several reasons:
- They see in the others behaviors their own and are embarrassed by them so they don’t tolerate them from someone else
- You refuse to acknowledge similar behavior in yourself so you project your disgust for your own behaviors at others who are doing it.
- You are envious of the level of success others have reached where you have not and therefore are extremely critical of those of whom you are envious.
- We attribute our behavior to our environment and give ourselves a free pass while we attribute others behavior to character.
What we say about others actually says a lot more about ourselves. Most judgements of others ar3e actually ego struggles within ourselves that we use to avoid uncomfortable thoughts or feelings we have about our own weaknesses.
While the attacks on individuals such as Max Hall will undoubtedly continue, the greater energy should be spent examining ourselves and what we are missing in our own character that makes us feel the urge to judge, sometimes in a vile manner, others who are struggling in life.
Joy does not come and cannot come in finding faults and revelry in others actions. Our judgements of others should be used as a mirror to our self and who we are, for that is truly what these judgements are all about.