Outrage Over the Konduga and Chibok Kidnappings.


Where is the international outrage?  Where is the support?  Why the silence from the media?  Twenty five school aged girls were kidnapped in Konduga in March, silence.  No rescue efforts.  No outrage.   3 weeks later on April 15th another 230 girls kidnapped from school to be sold as sex slaves and wives. The original 25 kidnappings weren’t even mentioned until after the next kidnapping in April.  Still silence until MAY???  and no international rescue efforts?

The missing Malaysian flight 370 disappears with 227 passengers and 12 crew members in March.  An international search began within 24 hours.  At the peak of the search for this missing plane 26 countries were assisting with aircraft and ships from 11 of them!  Australia, China, Japan, Malaysia, New Zealand, South Korea, The United Kingdom and the United States of America all joined in, spending millions of dollars searching for the missing aircraft.  The search is estimated to cost nearly a QUARTER OF A BILLION dollars!

Where the hell is the logic?  We can spend MILLIONS with thousands of individuals looking for a missing plane within 24 hours and yet 22 days go by for these children and no money spent and FINALLY the US sends a dozen people to help in the search efforts 22 days after they go missing??

These children, little girls are undoubtedly being raped and tortured and the world remains silent?  May God have mercy on our souls.



image:  www.infonaija.com.ng

Moments in Time, Moments Lost – A Fathers Heartache part 17


It is often said that one day my children will know and understand how much I love them.  I wonder if the bond that I seek with them will ever fully be realized.  The many missed moments in life of tucking them into bed, having our nightly prayers together, the morning breakfasts and all the other many day to day moments that I hunger for and miss out on.  What impact in a relationship does this have with young children?  I have to imagine an immense one, an uncontrollable chasm created in a relationship with such missed opportunities that so many take for granted.

I feel an incredibly deep love for my children, yet the bond seems weak in comparison with that of their mothers, as they rightfully love her and share those moments that I sadly miss out on.  The greatest pain comes from knowing this was a decision not of my own, yet the suffering is mine. 

Each decision and choice in my life is made in regards to the few hours a week when I get to hear their laughs, see their smiles and feel their hugs.  My trips for work, my appointments and my time off are all planned around maximizing the moments of heavenly joy when my children are near me.  I focus and stress enjoying quality moments in time with my children, although few and fleeting, it’s all I have.  I hunger for that deep bond with them, the nightmares of missing out on many of those moments haunts me.

I live in the moment with my children, I treasure the moments, the family time, the laughs and the love that we share when we are together, yet I long for a time when the decision to spend time with dad is theirs. I  pray that the missed moments are lessened in time and a greater balance is obtained. 

The heartache stays locked up, deep inside as the sorrow of time lost remains ever present on the surface of my life.  As my love for my children continues to grow and deepen with each passing day, the sadness looms in the distance with each moment I miss.


Finding Light in the Darkness of our Wounds


We are all wounded. Each of us at one point or another has been hurt and have struggled in overcoming some wrong we feel was done to us. Whether real or imagined, the reality is that we all hurt from these moments. We carry within us the hurt that we have internalized, the self doubts and fears that are locked away deep within us, usually as the result of the actions of others.

These wounds can stay hidden and locked away for years, even decades before we are ready to face them, and enable the healing process to take place. For some, that healing may never occur, as the pain is so deep and terrifying for the person to ever face those demons.

Nearly 25 years ago I experienced some interactions with very close friends whose words and actions cut me deep. The heartache was immediate, the pain deep and wide. I spent the next two decades locking that pain away, never wanting to face it and to deal with the cruelness of their actions. I never spoke about it, I never shared it and I kept it locked up deep within.

While driving across the Nevada desert one weekend alone in my thoughts nearly 5 years ago I found myself pondering upon a book I had just listened to on CD. “Healing the Wounded Soul” by Jack R Christianson. As I contemplated upon the powerful message I had heard about wounds needing to heal from the inside out and how the gospel of Jesus Christ can make that happen I went back to the days in my life when that wound was so fresh and painful. As I examined the heartaches in my life and the pain that I had all to often experienced I discovered the most valuable of lessons I could ever have imagined. We are all wounded. Haunted by the demons of our past. This has forever altered the way I view others in the midst of their solitude.

I went all the way back to my days in High School, when life was grand and it seemed I had it all, great friends and family around me, supporting and encouraging me. I analyzed my life forward from that moment, then it hit me. I relived that awful painful moment when I began holding things inside and keeping everyone away. The moment the walls went up and all others were kept out.

I realized in the midst of my sorrowful recollection that so many decisions in life stemmed from that one moment in time. I allowed the actions and words of someone dear to me to impact my world such that I would never feel deserving of anyone’s love or support in this life. That one betrayal, so deep would shape the course of my life. As long as I held on to that pain, I would continue to be a victim to this individuals cruelness.

I decided in that moment 5 years ago, alone, in the hot desert of Nevada that I would find healing for that moment in my life and then allow the healing for everything past that moment, all stemming from that wound to heal as well. It was painful as I waded through decades of heartache and sorrow. In the end, I regained my inner peace and happiness along the way.

Through this process not only did I begin the healing process, yet also the wisdom to see others in a different light. I believe that many individuals who seemingly wander lost and directionless through this life are victims of a hidden sorrow that many of them may not even consciously remember. That moment when the walls went up around them, allowing no one to fully enter.

We are all wounded in some way or another, some of us have simply found our way through the darkness and into the world where light can shine again. We all can find our way through the darkness as we look to the light that is available to all.




So many games you play

You think you can win

Never thinking of others

Or the pain they are in

People aren’t property

although you believe

your games and your lies

and the fabric they weave

broken hearts left behind

as you storm through this life

each interaction

it cuts like a knife

some battles you’re winning

but the war you will lose

when enough is enough

and now others do choose

to leave you behind

all alone in your shame

when no one is left

for playing your games




Our truest self is on display during our greatest moments of stress.  How we respond and treat others is evidence of our inner self during these times in our lives.

We all experience moments when we lose our composure.  The stress in life and the demands we are under can at times be like a pressure cooker waiting to blow.  Usually when this happens, our frustrations are taken out on the individuals least responsible for our feelings.  It could be a clerk at the store or the waitress.  Many times it is directed at the ones who love us the most. 

The moments immediately following these events show what that individual is made of and who they really strive to be.  When we look past the frustration of the moment and watch what immediately follows we can see someones real character.  Does that person apologize to the one who faced the onslaught of their frustration?  Do they try to make up for it?   Or do they continue blowing steam at everyone who comes across their path?

Much of my day is spent dealing with individuals who blow steam, typically directed at those who are helping them.  Few ever reach back out to apologize for their frustration and for mid-directing it.  Those individuals who never reach out suffer greatly as the burden they carry within them can never be resolved as each time someone experiences their frustration they actually pack more baggage than the last time.  They never get resolution in life to the things building up.  Those who sincerely seek out the ones they have offended, and wronged, even if a total stranger, are able to show their character and who they desire to be.  They are able to let go of unnecessary burdens and thus lighten their loads.

We treat others the way we see ourselves.  If we have no respect for ourselves, we can never respect any one else.  If we never seek forgiveness when we wrong someone, how could we respect ourselves? 

There is No Tomorrow


I’m sorry dad

I don’t have the time

the boss is calling

I need to make  dime


It’s OK my son

I understand

Maybe next week?

It would be so grand!


I’m sorry dad

I don’t have the time

My weekend is taken

with a mountain to climb


I miss you my son

It will be OK

Maybe next week?

We can go out and play


I’m sorry my son

You’re dads gone home

He’s proud of the man

into which you have grown


Now a heart left with sorrow

for there is no other day

No more tomorrows

for which to go play


© 2014 James Isbell