Today marks 4 years since my father lost his fight with cancer. The years have been hard without him…
Its been 4 years today since we said our final earthly goodbyes, They say that time heals, I beg to differ dad. I miss you everyday. I think about you everyday. I wish you were still here where we could seek your wisdom and advice. So much has happened since you left, I’m certain you know that yet how I long to be able to discuss the many changes with you.
I look at my most beloved wife and sweet daughters Alexa and little Bella. The painful reality that I live with is that they never met you dad. They don’t know the man you are, they only see your sons and what they are. I pray we are good examples of what you taught us in life.
I haven’t been able to golf much since you left, it’s not the same. All those rounds of golf we shared, I treasure each memory yet cannot find the strength to spend much time there anymore. I miss you too much when I pick up my clubs. Those were sure good times with lots of wonderful memories. I am still in awe at your strength and power as you fought that terrible disease known as cancer, yet you still continued doing what you loved right up to the end. What a great and remarkable lesson in perseverance. You never let this stop you until the very end. What a valiant fight.
As I sit here thinking about you I feel selfish wanting you to be here with us while knowing full well the pain you were in when you were here. I am so glad that you are free from that awful pain and suffering, knowing this makes the sadness and sorrow of missing you bearable.
So much has changed since you left us. I have found happiness dad that I never thought possible. After all those years of heartache that I suffered I met the most amazing woman. Her name is Karla. I am truly blessed beyond anything I could ever dream possible. I met her a short 10 months after you left, I have no doubt you were part of that. Thank you. Karla is such a remarkable woman, I wish you could meet her. She is the executive director of a Domestic Violence shelter, she is the IME for Mexico, she sits on 3 boards, is the Chair of the UDVA, she has been recognized as the humanitarian of the year last year, One of Utah’s 30 women to watch in 2012 and many other recognitions. All this dad while finishing her Doctorate at the University. I am in awe of this woman., you would be so proud of her.
She has a daughter named Alexa, a year younger than Bridger. She loves to swim and sing. She is such a sweet young lady and so loving. She loves grandma so much! I know she would have loved you and loved spending time with you. Dad, Karla and I were blessed with a surprise from Heavenly Father, a precious little girl Isabella. She is such an adorable little one, she just turned one. She sits and stares at your picture hanging on the wall once in a while. It seems she remembers you. She melts everyone’s hearts. I wish you could have held her in this life. She is truly a little angel.
Dad, Karla and I bought a house down the street from mom. We wanted to be close to her and be close enough for the kids to walk to her house and spend time with her. Bridger and Londyn miss you so much. They always talk about the last time they saw you and the talks you would have. Bridger dedicates every game he plays in to you dad. He says he knows you are watching him play from heaven.
Oh how mom misses you dad. She visits your grave as often as she can. My heart breaks for her as she misses you so much. We try to visit a couple times a week. The family has changed much since you left us dad. In many ways we have grown stronger, and in many more we feel lost without you. The impact of your passing is still strongly felt to this day.
The one lesson in all this is that life continues on. Our children are growing older as are we. Many of your grandchildren are forging lives of their own. Life continues, as does our heartache and sorrow of missing you. We know where you are. We know we will see you and be together again one day. This knowledge that we will be together as a family for the eternities sustain us during this brief moment of mortality that remains for your loved ones. You will always be in our hearts and the hearts of your posterity for the life you lived is our example of character, dignity and strength.
We miss you much dad, until we meet again.
your loving son,