I was asked yesterday why my ex wife does some of the selfish things that she does in an attempt to hurt me.  Why does she use our children as a pawn to manipulate situations to meet her own selfish desires. My answer was simple and direct.  SELFISHNESS, it destroyed our marriage and she was hurting our children by the same behaviors.  She put the things that she wanted first, above anyone else.  Whether that was another affair, another boyfriend, spending the mortgage payment to go shopping for clothes, whatever it was it was done out of selfishness. A concern only for what she wanted with no thought to her family or those around her.  Now, she has her children to use as pawns to maximize further her selfish interests and desires.

As I pondered further upon this question and the reality that is the larger picture in society, It became extremely evident that it is through selfishness that nearly every problem we face in society is derived.  Selfishness not only creates many of our problems, it then compounds them into at times insurmountable obstacles.  We by our examples of selfish behavior are teaching our children to repeat this process, oftentimes worse than we ourselves have done.

Sacrificing ones personal needs and desires for someone else is becoming a bigger challenge in the world we live.  We are bombarded with examples of selfishness by the media, our televisions are full of it, the movies make it seem normal, even our music hums the idea daily into our minds, In fact, many times those who do sacrifice for others are often viewed with disdain.  Our religious leaders who serve endlessly to help are ridiculed and berated for their beliefs, our veterans are neglected.

Selfishness is becoming rampant in our society. We see daily examples of parents who place their own selfish desires above the welfare of their own children.  Some use the children as weapons in divorce to hurt their ex spouse, some leave them home alone at night to go out and party, and we have even seen examples of parents who will kill their children to avoid the “inconvenience” of being a parent.

It seems to me that as we continue to fight for personal rights, many times we address these issues from a standpoint of selfishness.  We are teaching our children through our behaviors to be self centered, egotistical, selfish individuals in society whom are only concerned about what they want, when they want it and how.  There is no thought given to the aftermath of the individuals choices and the impact that these have on their children and communities.

While we all have desires in life, needs and dreams, when we focus on them without concern for the impact that they will have on our families, our neighbors, our communities and nation we abandon the hope of improving our society and in creating a world where all can succeed.  We are teaching our children to do the same.

Society succeeds when selfishness fails.


  1. Pingback: Thoughts and ponderings on 10/28/2013 | One Lifetime

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