We have all heard the mantra “No Pain, No Gain”. We see this in the local gym and is referred to most often in terms of exercise and physical fitness. This too applies to personal growth.
I have often stated that I would never change anything in my life because the struggles I have personally experienced have made me the man that I am today. I look back over my challenges and I can see clearly the growth in personal strength, an increase in my compassion, understanding and wisdom that could never have been developed within me without the struggles of life. Just as in the gym, with pain comes gain. The greater the pain, the greater the opportunity for gain.
Our lives are filled with wonder, opportunities and joys. Many times these treasures are overshadowed by the heartache, grief and sorrow that also come with life. I have many family and friends whom have experienced much greater trials and obstacles than my own. As I have watched the different methods that each of them have employed in overcoming said obstacles I am struck by the differences in personal outcome depending upon the method chosen to handle the trials.
There are several differing ways that people handle trials. One is to blame others, including God. Another is to accept that trials are a part of this life and try with grace and dignity to overcome them.
Life is not fair! There are no limits to challenges that some will face.
My experience with those that play the blame game in their trials in life actually create more obstacles and hurt in life. As we blame others, we build the walls that keep out the very help that we can receive from others that will aide us in overcoming. Blaming creates hate and poison within us that actually cause us further harm, it weakens us physically, mentally and spiritually thus creating for ourselves additional challenges and trials in life. This includes the blame game that many play of blaming themselves. Blaming others or ourselves actually creates PAIN, where there can be NO GAIN.
When we choose to accept the trials that are before us, no matter the difficulty or the journey with the effort to understand and use them for personal growth and development we allow others into our lives whom can help us and oftentimes teach us through their own experiences in ways to handle trials with dignity. Trials in life are meant to help us gain something that we could otherwise not achieve. Some of the greatest leaders that have ever lived have experienced tremendous personal loss and burdens in their lives. Great leaders have always used that heartache to grow and then share that growth and wisdom they have learned in ways that lift and help others they encounter.
I have had opportunities in life where I have been able to experience the pain that deep personal heartache can bring. I have spent times on both sides of this equation. It is through the deepest of despair that I led myself into while blaming others for choices that affected me that I was taught this lesson. When I began to embrace my heartache with the knowledge that I was going through this and I could come out a bitter individual or a wiser one, I chose the latter. It wasn’t easy to change my outlook. I am deeply grateful that I did.
Tremendous growth comes from tremendous pain when allowed to work within us. When against our challenges, and we play the blame game we create more pain and postpone the gain or growth that will occur within us. Our perseverance and acceptance will help us through our struggles in the healthiest manner possible, which will more fully open our eyes to the wonder, opportunities and joy of life that exist for each of us thus enabling each of us to grow and become what we are destined to become.